Single Blog

Looking Deeper – Day 1: Bad Can Be Good!

Somehow, I thought marrying my friend and being 100% sure that God brought us together would preclude us from marital issues because our union was “blessed.” Now, after 20 years I can giggle at that assumption, but the disillusionment was REAL back in the day.

I remember an incident when my husband had done something that hurt me. Rather than deal with the hurt, I chose to be angry…VERY ANGRY! I decided that the moment he walked through the door I wouldn’t say a word, just punch him in his face! (Not proud of that choice, but at the time it seemed like my only choice.) As I planned my attack the phone rang, “Hey baby I’m have some pain in my chest so I’m going to the hospital. Can you meet me there?”

I was so conflicted. I was still angry, but also now afraid that my love was having a heart attack. When I got to the hospital they rushed me to him. His blood pressure was so high that the Dr. took another reading himself because he was convinced that the nurse had made a mistake.

Long story short, medication brought his blood pressure under control and he was fine, but from that situation, I learned a valuable lesson…rash, emotional decisions can be deadly. If he had ignored the pain, come home and I punched him before taking the time to find out that something was wrong, things could have ended quite differently.

While most of my emotional thoughts since that day haven’t included bodily harm, there have been many times I have consciously decided to calm down before making a decision or saying something that would harm my husband or our relationship. I still remember what he did that hurt me, but instead of being mad about it I am abundantly glad. That moment in time taught me the value of being DRAMA-FREE (the D in W.O.N.D.E.R.F.U.L.) and that my actions have lasting effects.


How about you? What’s one “good” thing you learned from a situation in your marriage that you initially perceived as “bad”?

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